Doubts
by Mird
Summary: He was truly her friend- and he wasn't petty enough to fall in love with her. He, at least, was mature enough to keep his emotions in check.
1. One

**Doubts**

**One  
**

Winry had always been a popular girl.

It was clear to him, since their first day of school, that the other boys in his class saw something more in his childhood playmate than he ever had. It sparked a strange feeling of curiosity inside of him and, uncharacteristically, he opted to keep his distance and watch quietly rather than to openly tell the boys to back off.

Some made it clear that they loved her. There was rarely a chair open next to her- Ed, being her best friend, had the seat to her right reserved, and no one dared to try and take his spot. However, every other available chair around her was always filled by some hopeful boy, praying to hold her attention, to make her laugh.

The way they were always jumping to lend her a crayon, or help her with her adding, or hold her feet so that she could reach the top shelf… the way that their fingers always lingered over her head for a moment too long before calling out "goose!" and running around the circle… it was all so obvious. Even an idiot could see that they all loved her.

Somehow, though, she remained oblivious. Somehow she didn't notice the way that they stared when her hair fanned out behind her on the swingset. Somehow she didn't notice the looks of disappointment that marred their faces when she turned down their invitations to birthday parties or playdates.

After a few weeks of watching this, Ed's initial feeling of curiosity morphed into a strange mix of disgust and superiority. How could these boys not accept the fact that she wasn't interested? He was proud of himself for not falling head over heels for her whenever their skin made contact, unlike the other boneheads in his class. He made a point of not feeling a tiny flutter in his heart when she smiled- it was there, sure, but he could ignore it. And that made him better than the others.

Over the course of his days at school, he analyzed and confirmed his theory: every boy in the class loved Winry. Some showed it differently than others- there were those who showered her with love and affection, and there were those who chased and tackled and teased her whenever they got the opportunity.

Ed was in a group all his own. He was the only boy who could really call himself Winry's friend. They played together after school every day. Every moment he spent running with her, or climbing trees, or splashing around in the creek, reaffirmed his feeling of pride. He was truly her friend- and he wasn't petty enough to fall in love with her.

When Winry went into long, irritated descriptions about how boys chased her around the schoolyard, trying to catch her, Ed's ego swelled. He, at least, was mature enough to keep his emotions in check.


	2. Two

**Doubts**

**Two**

The first time Ed had any doubts about his feelings was on a Tuesday. Everyone had been trapped inside for the past three days, unable to even take a step out of their homes due to the pouring rain that Resembool was famous for. When the storm finally passed and the children were allowed to go back to school, they ended up trekking through streets of nothing but mud. Outdoor recess wasn't even a possibility—they spent their entire day inside, even during lunchtime.

Lunchtime was less of a time for eating, and more of a time for playing. It was a full half hour to do whatever you wanted—there were no rules at all. However, indoor recess posed some complications.

On most days, recess was held outside. Winry would play with Ed and all the other boys—tag, four square, tree-climbing, you name it. She was unlike the other girls, who squealed with fear whenever they got too close to a mud puddle.

But on the rare occasions that recess was held _within_ the confines of their one-room school house, Winry always drifted towards the other girls, with their dollhouses and crayons and high-pitched giggles. It was on these days only that Ed played without her.

On this particular Tuesday, Winry was sitting with her usual pack of girls, but there were no dolls in sight. The group was gathered around one particularly loud child—Colette Mattes. She was telling a story, and she seemed very proud of herself.

Ed's eyes narrowed. The crowd wasn't made up of only girls—mixed in here and there was a handful of boys.

And they all seemed to be crowding around Winry.

A strange, unrecognizable feeling flared up inside him. It was similar to how he had felt the first time that his mom had forgotten his bedtime story, because she was too busy rocking Alphonse to sleep. It was a weird, intense longing—a desperate desire for her to turn away from that other, undeserving boy and remember that _he_ was there first.

So, with one last envious glance at the boys playing with toy airplanes and cars on the other side of the room, he determinedly took his place among the circle of wide-eyed kindergartners who surrounded Colette.

Colette, it seemed, wasn't talking about anything of any real substance. Her entire drawn-out story revolved around her fourteen (fourTEEN!) year old sister, Sarah, and her boyfriend. The couple had been the talk of the classroom ever since Colette had discovered them and blabbed. The idea of romance was both extremely real and extremely exciting to the kindergartners.

However, despite the fact that Colette's ramblings usually ended up with a reasonably disappointing punch line, today's story had a twist.

Colette had spied Sarah and Henry kissing.

The couple had made her _promise_ not to tell mom, but (and she said this part with a very self-satisfied smirk on her face), the kids in her class weren't mom. She could tell them whatever she wanted.

This new snippet of information was met with a round of "oooh"s and "aaaaah"s from her audience. Even Ed was impressed by the new development, although he was determined not to show it.

"Who would you kiss?" Colette asked with a mischievous grin on her face. "If you _had_ to kiss someone, I mean."

Ed saw a few of the boys glance quickly at Winry, and he felt that feeling flare up inside him again. Luckily, Lilli interrupted them before they could even open their mouths.

"You _can't tell_," Lilli said seriously as she looked around warily. "Promise?"

"We promise," the others swore in equal seriousness.

Lilli smiled nervously. "I'd kiss Nathan," she whispered. Her confession was met with gasps and giggles from the girls and hushed snickers from the boys. "Who would you kiss?" she asked Claira, directing the attention away from herself.

Claira blushed and looked at her feet. "Theo," she mumbled. The answer was, once again, met with giggles. Claira quickly took the reused Lilli's clever escape route. "What about you, Winry?" she asked.

Ed immediately noticed the other two boys stiffen in anticipation, and he was surprised to find that he was mirroring this action. Winry, oblivious to the tension that was thick in the air, sat quietly and pondered the question.

"That's hard," she said. "No one, I think."

Colette shook her head, grinning. "You _have_ to pick," she said. "It's importan'!"

"Well, I guess if I had to…" she began; the boys leaned forward slightly, as if it would make her answer any faster. "… I'd kiss Ed."

Ed jolted slightly in his chair. "Me?" he said, feeling very determined not to blush. The two other boys shot him cold, shocked looks.

"Uh huh," Winry nodded, "'cause we're good friends, so it wouldn't be weird. Right?"

Ed nodded as if he agreed, although he was really just trying to make his head stop spinning.

All the boys in the class glared at him for the rest of the day.


	3. Three

**I feel like Ed isn't being enough of a jerk. **

**Three**

The second time Ed had any doubts about his feelings was on a Saturday.

Winry had just recently been given permission to walk to town without a parent, although she still harbored an irrational fear of being alone in the marketplace. Whenever her mother sent her off to buy eggs or flour or vegetables for dinner, she would first stop by the Elric house. It was their routine; they would run and jump and skip together, splashing in puddles and balancing on low-hanging garden walls.

On this particular Saturday, Winry's mom was gripped with the sudden, undeniable desire to bake a pie. She sent Winry off with a handful of cenz, a kiss on the cheek, and a shopping list.

* * *

They ran barefoot on the side of the road, where the grass was still wet with dew. They had abandoned their shoes on Ed's lawn without a second thought; there was nothing more refreshing than feeling the soft ground under their toes as they raced to the market.

Winry laughed and leapt to the ground to roll down a small hill, not caring about the dirt and grass stains that would pepper her yellow sundress when she stood up. Ed grinned and followed her lead, rolling to a stop beside her as he reached the bottom of the hill.

Instead of hopping back upright and continuing their journey, she remained on her back, staring up at the clouds drifting lazily through the sky. Ed glanced at the distant village that was just visible over the curve of her nose. "What are you doing?" he asked. He wasn't feeling impatient, really— just curious. Winry liked to run and spin and shout. They were both extremely susceptible to boredom, which was part of why they were friends. They each needed someone to not sit still with.

"I hate winter," she said after a moment's hesitation. "It's cold and gloomy and we didn't even get a lot of snow for playing in this year."

"But it's not winter," Ed pointed out. "It's spring."  
"I guess it is," Winry admitted. She closed her eyes as a light breeze blew her hair around her face. Sunlight seemed to pool around her eyelids, making her skin glow. "I can't tell when it stops being winter and starts being spring."

"Today is a really springy day," Ed said. "It's warm… and there's only a little bit of clouds."

Winry mumbled something in agreement, but Ed could tell that she wasn't really listening to him.

After another long moment of silence, she spoke again. "I think that every year there's one day that's better than all the other days. And I think that this might maybe be that day. It's okay if it's not spring." She smiled as she threaded her fingers through Ed's. "I want it to be today forever."

Something stirred inside him as he relaxed his hand into hers. He thought of Will and Nathan and Zach, and every other boy who would kill to be in his place. He thought of their desperate attempts to catch Winry's eye or invite her play. He thought of all the boys who she wasn't lying in the grass with, all the boys whose hand she wasn't holding— and he thought of the one boy who was lucky enough to be set apart from the rest.

Him.

As they lay side by side in the grass, connected by the palms of their hands, he wondered if she noticed the constant waterfall of emotions that filled him— the confusion, the happiness, the pride. But judging by the smile on her face, it seemed more likely that she was focusing on the way that the sun and wind combined to create the perfect temperature. That was okay. They both enjoyed the moment for different reasons.

After a few moments, Winry opened her eyes, looking refreshed. She pulled herself to her feet, and Edward quickly followed, not wanting to give her a head start on the last stretch of their race.

As if she had read his mind, Winry blocked his path with her arm. "Let's just walk," she said. "Mom has all day to bake."

* * *

They stood on their tiptoes as they presented their money to the old man who owned the stall. After a good ten minutes of rummaging through the barrel of apples, they were satisfied with their selection.

"My mom's gonna bake a pie," Winry announced as the old man counted out their change.

He smiled at her and dropped the coins into her tiny hand. "Isn't that nice?" he said, although it wasn't a question. "You can carry them home in that basket, I've got plenty."

Ed thanked him, as his mother always pestered him to do. Winry, however, was too busy staring at the coins in her hand to even acknowledge the gift.

The man frowned. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

Winry stared up at him, her eyes wide. "Why did you give me your money?" she asked. "I bought the apples…"

He laughed. "Oh, no, that's _your_ money. It's change. You gave me too much, so you get to keep the leftover."

"It's mine?" she said, bewildered. "Can I spend it?"

The man nodded. "Of course. You can buy whatever you want with it."

Her face broke into a huge grin. "Thank you, mister!" she exclaimed. She then grabbed Edward's arm and pulled him along after her. "C'mon, let's find something to buy!"

The two of them ran side by side through the streets, giddy with the realization that they were rich.

* * *

Ed and Winry stood side by side with their noses pressed up against the glass. They stared longingly at the rows of beautifully decorated cakes that they had always lusted after but had never been able to afford. Winry clutched the coins tightly in her hand, as if she were afraid that they would run away if she didn't keep a firm grip on them.

"What can I get for you?" asked the smiling young woman behind the counter.

"That one," Ed said, pointing at a thick, pre-cut slice of chocolate cake. He had not consulted Winry, but there was no need to. Whenever they passed the bakery, it was always that particular cake that caught their attention.

"That'll be twenty five cenz," the woman said as she loaded their purchase onto a plate.

Winry reached up and deposited her coins on the counter. "Thank you for the cake," she said, presenting the cashier with her biggest smile.

The two children held the plate together, careful not to drop it, as they marched impatiently outside to join the other couples seated at the outdoor tables, enjoying the fresh spring air and their pastries.

They clinked their forks together as they had seen their parents do, and they dug in.

It was, without a doubt, the best thing either of them had ever tasted. The three layers of chocolate melted perfectly in Ed's mouth. He looked around as he licked a frosting rose off his fork, and was surprised to see two familiar faces.

It's was Colette's sister, Sarah— and her _boyfriend_. The one she had _kissed._

As Ed stared at the couple, he realized how perfectly their movements mirrored his and Winry's. He wondered what it was like to use the word "girlfriend." He and Winry were always together, but could they someday be "together?" Henry and Sarah were sitting at the bakery not because they had a few extra coins, but because they were on a _date._

He looked on with awe as Henry leaned over the table and kissed Sarah on the cheek. She giggled and laced her fingers through his— just as Winry had done only minutes ago.

"That was the best cake _ever__!_" Winry exclaimed, snapping Ed back to earth. He nodded enthusiastically, but his thoughts remained with Henry and Sarah, who were enjoying a slice from the very same cake.

* * *

**Metaphors?**


End file.
